clever-one-word-url:

GUYS MY 10 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAS JUST TELLING BE ABOUT HOW HE KNOWS EVERY GUY’S CRUSH IN HIS CLASS AND H KEEPS TRACK OF IT SO THAT IF A GUY GETS A NEW CRUSH HE GOES AND CALLS THE GIRL AND LETS HER KNOW. HE LITERALLY USED THE PHRASE “I’M IN THE BUSINESS”. 

GUYS

MY BROTHER IS A 5TH GRADE PIMP

(Source: jourdonnais, via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

shutupaubrey:

team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”

(via ridingsheepinnewzealand)

meladoodle:

whoa-hold-your-alex:

meladoodle:

for sale: my dick, never used… :(

do u not pee

no i don’t.. i should’ve put that in, it’s also faulty.

(via kaittyperry)

egberts:

sodamist:

egberts:

i think my cat is allergic to cats

That sounds pretty
Catastrophic

i hope you get arrested for that

(via abitstupid)

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house

i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police

(via ponies-in-pajamas)

rabioheab:

i can’t wait until the days when we’re all old and the stereotype is that old people like rap and dubstep

(via thats-slightly-raven)